


Waltzing in Purgatory

by Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossover, F/F, Flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 09:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16553600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw/pseuds/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw
Summary: In which Carmilla is the useless lesbian (almost) Ardat-Yakshi and Laura is the tiny gay first human Spectre.





	Waltzing in Purgatory

**Author's Note:**

> Happy N7 Day!
> 
> Beta by imaginary_golux

As a general rule, Laura Hollis-Shepard wasn’t a clubber. But tonight, she had a murder to solve.

“Commander,” Lilita stage-whispered. So much for the subtlety the asari had wanted; she stood out like an angry varren in her red justicar armor. “Remember, Carmilla will try to seduce you. You must resist her honeyed lies. You must be the one to lure her in, excite her, thrill her: make her come to you.”

“Got it!” Laura flashed an exuberant thumbs-up. “Don’t get fucked to death by your crazy daughter, be a badass.” She struggled with the urge to fidget in her little black dress under Lilita’s disapproving eyes. “I feel like a virgin sacrifice,” she muttered to herself, turning away from the older woman.

***

Laura had taken Lilita’s advice to heart: be exciting, draw her in. So far this had entailed convincing the barman to buy the house a round and tipping off an undercover journalist with blown cover. She sighed, and wondered, not for the first time, if her life wouldn’t have been easier if she hadn’t enlisted after Mindoir, if she had pursued her childhood dream of becoming a journalist instead. Her mother had always encouraged her to seek the truth. Which she still did, as a Spectre. Just, you know, a _teensy_ bit more violently. Speaking of which...

“She asked you to leave her alone, pal.”

The slimy turian leered at her. “You wanna join in, doll face? ‘Cause I’m--ack!” Laura didn’t let him finish the pickup line before striking with both hands to his throat, hard enough to leave him gasping. She followed with a kick to the kneecap that sent him to the floor.

“Hey, thanks.” The dancer grinned. “Comes outta my pay if I damage anything with my biotics.”

“No problem.”

“Hey, you wanna dance?” Another asari, still not her mark.

“If you want to think I’m dancing with you, go ahead,” Laura giggled, starting to bop awkwardly.

“Actually, she’s dancing with _me_. And I don’t play nice with others.” A smoky voice wafted into Laura’s ears like musk. Blue hands clasped greedily around her hips; a supple body pressed against hers from behind.

“Hey…” Laura tried not to lose herself in the sensuous dance. “Don’t suppose you’d rather waltz?” She injected a teasing note into the plea.

“Hmm...for you, maybe.” She laughed, a darkly melodious thing. “I was right, by the way.”

“Oh?” Laura’s breath stuttered as the mystery dancer’s hands found her hipbone and the line of her panties and applied an indecent pressure. “Right about what?”

“You definitely are the most interesting person in the room. _Despite_ being the infamous Commander Hollis-Shepard,” the voice purred into her ear. Lips brushed the lobe, then caught it between them.

“Is that so?” Laura asked with false backbone to cover her weak knees. “And you are?...”

“You can call me Carmilla, cutie. So, shall we dance?” Upon Laura’s breathless nod, Carmilla spun her around, skilled hands tugging her in place for a waltz.

“Holy crap!” Laura had seen Carmilla’s dossier picture, but in person she was far more attractive. Pale blue skin over perfect jaw and cheekbones, topped by a dark blue crest.

Carmilla smirked, which somehow made her face even prettier. “Like what you see?” Why, oh lord, did the most beautiful woman and best dancer Laura had ever met have to be a serial killer? Worst. Crush. Ever.

“N-no! It’s just, holy crap, are we waltzing? In Purgatory?”

“So. What exactly did my darling maman tell you about me?” Laura attempted to stammer out a reply. “Oh, please; maman has been stalking me for almost a century now. You really think I don’t know her tells? Besides, it’s not like the dean of the justicar order and a dead spectre are easy to miss. The only surprise is that she hasn’t tried something like this sooner.” Laura’s grip tightened with every word. Carmilla’s lips formed a scowl. “The worst part is that she was right. I wasn’t able to resist you.”

“Why should I believe you? You’re an Ardat-Yakshi,” Laura blurted.

To Laura’s befuddlement, Carmilla laughed. “Is _that_ what she’s telling people? That’s… offensively close to the truth.”

“What about Nef? Did you kill her?”

“Nef? She was sweet. For an addict. Pity she overdosed, but you humans live such short lives anyway.” Carmilla shrugged and spun Laura around full circle. “So the world turns.”

“That’s awfully cold.”

“I’m 347 years old, remember?”

“So let’s say I believe you and you aren’t an Ardat-Yakshi…”

“Or you could take a DNA sample with your omnitool. The list of genetic tags is pretty well known by now, and I don’t have enough of them.”

“But you do have some of them,” Laura deduced as she waited for the results of the scan.

“Give the girl a plush volus,” Carmilla monotoned. “Now, combine that with what you know about the justicars and see where it leads you.”

Laura bit her lip and had just enough awareness to spot Carmilla glancing down at it. “Secretive religious police force. Special focus on hunting Ardat-Yakshi.”

“Hunting. And studying.”

Her omnitool pinged. Definitely not an Ardat-Yakshi, but five of the markers. So, why the interest? Okay, Hollis-Shepard: time to girl the hell up and put that intro bio course to use. Why study anything? To learn more about it. Ordinarily she would assume research into a genetic disorder would be to treat or prevent it. But Carmilla’s words had hinted at something sinister. “A weapon? But not an Ardat-Yakshi, or you would look at them directly.” Carmilla half-smiled in approval as she led them through the dance. “So…” Laura wrinkled her nose to think, which backfired because of the amused way Carmilla looked at her. “Is it like sickle cell anemia? Two copies of the gene kills you but one copy means you can survive malaria.”

“Very good. Usually it takes humans ages.”

Wait… “You called her maman… Is Lilita your--!” Carmilla placed a finger to Laura’s lips.

“Shh...let’s finish this conversation somewhere more private. If we play our cards right, she’ll think you seduced me.” Laura had barely begun to ask how before Carmilla kissed her. “C’mon, buttercup.”

***

“So. Lilita’s my creator, after a fashion. She was born with a rare combination of genes which enhanced her biotics in unusual ways: mind control, life draining, shape changing. Being a brilliant scientist, she soon figured things out and decided it was time to experiment.” Carmilla favored Laura with a droll smile.

“ _That’s_ why she created you? That’s horrible!” Laura gasped.

“And also where I got my sisters, Willa and Matska. Haven’t seen them in a while.” She sighed and draped herself across her sofa. “So hard to stay in touch while on the run from the law. But I assume you have questions?” she asked as the human sat beside her, an intent look on her face.

“Yeah. First, how do we stop her?”

The only answer was a rustling sound at the window. “I was afraid this might happen. The noble Commander Hollis-Shepard, undone by a tale of woe and a pretty face.”

“I notice you aren’t denying it.” Laura readied her biotics and her omnitool just as the two asari suffused with blue. It was times like these that she _really_ wished that damping grenades hadn’t been phased out while she was dead.

“Did she tell you about the others? About Sarah Jane? About Elle?”

Carmilla’s hands tightened into sapphire fists. “How _dare_ you say her name,” she hissed as she hurled a bolt of blue at Lilita’s head, deflected with ease. Lilita responded in kind, and soon they were trading biotically-enhanced blows.

“Can we just stop!?” Laura punctuated the demand with a wave of blue, knocking the others to the ground, mid-brawl.

“You would turn against me? Abandon my help with your mission so readily?”

“Gah! I don’t want to turn against anyone! But the only person I’ve seen attack a defenseless person is you, Lilita.”

The older asari spat at the floor. “This isn’t over,’ she vowed before fleeing through the same window she had entered.

“No, it isn’t. Not while you still hold my sisters.” Carmilla sagged onto the remains of the couch. “Mind telling me what this is all about? What’s this mission bullshit?”

Laura flopped to join Carmilla on the sofa and let Carmilla put an arm around her. “So,” she began, voice buoyant with false levity, “have you heard of the Collectors?”

***

“Well? Want to come with us?”

Carmilla snorted. “You talk about your crack team of weirdos, off on a suicide mission, funded by notorious anti-alien terrorists, and the first thing you ask is if I want to tag along? As pickup lines go, it could use some work.”

Laura spluttered and moved so she wasn’t leaning into Carmilla quite so eagerly. “I--! I wasn’t!”

“Relax, cutie,” Carmilla chuckled and beckoned Laura closer. “You’re pretty when you’re flustered. Besides, it isn’t like I can stay here.” She gestured to the ruined flat.

“Oops?” Laura offered an apologetic cuddle.

“You live as long as I have and you get used to moving on.” She shrugged. “Anyway, you saved my life and neither mummy dearest nor I can try anything anytime soon while we’re still on guard. Plus your freak squad sounds like a pretty safe place to be. At least for now.” She continued in a droll tone. “I don’t do suicide missions.”

Laura shrugged. “There’s plenty to do before then. Not to mention my entire crew has decided that right now is the best time to set things to rights.”

“Suppose there’s nothing like impending death to focus the mind.”

“Whatever it takes to get them to take things seriously.”

“You wound me to the quick,” Carmilla said without modulating her tone. “Don’t worry your fuzzy human head; you saved my life and that’s more than most would have done.” To Laura’s shocked gasp, she continued. “Once someone in authority says you’re a criminal, that’s it for a lot of people; you’re as good as dead already. And you wondered why I wasn’t impressed by your spectre status.”

“I’m sorry...”

“Then prove it,” Carmilla replied, just as Laura wondered if there was anything else she could do.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”


End file.
